Robert “Bud” Shearer showing off his sweet transition glasses.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the big scandal that allegedly happened throughout the seven-year span Robert “Bud” Shearer held the position of director of Environmental Health and Occupational Safety at SF State. He allegedly received bribes from Stephen Cheung, vice president of Chemical HazMat Technologies, in exchange for overpriced waste removal contracts.

Pretty much, he is accused of over charging the shit out of our school for remedial duties that should of cost like 10% of the price. He allegedly cheated our school out of millions of dollars, and (allegedly) got a good cut of it. None of this has been proven in court, but if he did steal all that money from us, then we have beef with the way he spent it. These are the top ten things we think Shearer should have spent our money on.

 1) Better sunglasses then those girly ones he’s wearing in his photo

COME ON. If you were trying to be a baller then what the hell are you doing wearing some cheap ass transitions you got from the eye doctor. If I were Shearer I would be buying that Gucci swag. He got away with stealing money from a huge university for almost seven years. After the first two years he should of gotten on that rich boy game. Some people never learn.

2) A personal trainer

Eating cheerios is not going to lower your cholesterol, but getting a personal trainer named Blazer will. So, he should of done that. Blazer would of made you look damn good in that orange jumpsuit and NO ONE looks good in that jumpsuit.

 3) Hair dye

YOU HAVE BAD HAIR.

 4) Yacht

Duh, what else do rich people do? Every movie I watch with someone in the dirty money game owns a yacht. End of story, rich equals yacht.

5) Not going to China

My boyfriend went to China and some lady held her naked baby out of the window and it PEED ON HIS FACE. Why would anyone want that? What’s up Bud, you got yellow fever or somethin? Why else would you want to go to China 50 times?

6) Rosetta Stone

This program is really expensive but everyone benefits from learning a new language (maybe Mandarin).

 7) Hotter honeys then Julie Shearer

Mrs. Shearer has been accused of allegedly stealing from a coworker at the office of the University Police Department. Since she is a ride or die kind of lady, she seems like a wife Bud might want. But no Robert, you should have found yourself a lady who wasn’t going to make your case worse, also if you wanted a ride or die kind of girl you should of found one that wasn’t going to get caught. Just sayin’.

 8) A pimp cane

If Scott Disick has one then so should Bob Shearer. Both are douchebags.

 9) A bounce house

Just because having a personal bounce house might be really cool. Actually it would be fucking awesome.

10)  SF State

Maybe you shouldn’t have stolen money from hard working students who are working two jobs just to afford tuition you fucking dick.