**Cops intro music plays** “Bad boys bad boys, what’s ya gonna do, what’s gonna do when they come for you, BAD BOYS!”

The suspect, who stands at a towering 5′ 3″, snatched the iPad right out of the hands of a unsuspecting woman in the HSS building this morning. She was sitting adjacent to the bathrooms on the first floor watching a movie when the suspect forcefully grabbed the not-quite-a-laptop, no-longer-an-iphone device and took off running (obv not very fast) towards the bus station. Amazingly, he was able to elude the probably even chubbier police and any would-be heroes, escaping into the dark hipster-abyss that is the crowds of San Francisco.

Upcoming feature length documentary about the suspect.

So now police are looking for help finding the suspect in this big-boned robbery who they describe as having a “chubby build” and possibly being of “Ameri-asian” decent. He rocks flannel, like just about every other guy here at State, and has a bad haircut. As of right now, we suspect he is eating Cheetos and watching The Fugitive on his newly-stolen iPad.

If you saw this suspect or have any identifying information for this suspect please contact Inspector Leal of the San Francisco State University Police Department at (415) 338-3006 and refer to the We-Tip Anonymous Hotline at 415-338-3030.